Secrets? Everyone Has Secrets
by SerenityFrogLuvr3
Summary: Basically, the group is divulging some of their innermost secrets. Some are serious, some are funny, and some are just a little weird. coughrogercough
1. Joanne

**Alright, so this is something I'm just having fun with while I try to fix up my other stories. Basically, everyone has a deep dark secret, and the bohemians are confessing theirs just for you**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I own it... please. You really think I'm brilliant enough to come up with something this... this... brilliant!**

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Secrets? Well, I don't have many, I like to keep things out in the open. Although there is one, I guess.

In high school, I got pregnant. And I gave the baby up for adoption.

See, I've actually only recently come to terms with my sexuality, despite what everyone thinks. They seem to imagine that I was born a lesbian or something, when really that couldn't be further from the truth. I dated only guys until about two years ago.

Anyway, so in eleventh grade, I went to this party. No big deal, right. Anyway, so I met this guy. He was really smart, and sweet, and handsome, you know, and we talked for a long time. But the problem was, I didn't feel attracted to him in the least! That really worried me, and I was really trying to force myself to, you know, find him attractive.

That didn't work too well, so as a last restort, I slept with him that night. I was a virgin up until then, and looking back I wish I had waited. I was pretty wasted, and I don't even remember his name or really what he looked like. We only did it that one time, and it was sort of akward because he was a virgin too, so neither of us really knew what we were doing. Afterward, I never saw him again, at least I don't think I did. So I thought that that was the end of it.

Then I started to have the symptoms. At first, I tried to write it off as stress or something, but about a month in I finally had to accept the fact that I was pregnant.

I told my parents, who flipped out. They're really the ones who pushed for adoption. I was sort of leaning towards keeping it, but I couldn't. Mom and Dad would never let me. Call me what you will, but I wasn't willing to risk my parents wrath for anything. So I agreed to put it up for adoption once it was born.

On June 4 I had my baby. My parents had already set up all the legal arrangements and had a family all picked out, so I barely got any time to be with him at all. But he was beautiful and healthy, which the docters said was a miracle since I was so young.

And then he was gone. I think what bothers me the most is that I never even got to name him. I didn't let myself pick out names while I was pregnant, since I'd be giving him up immediatly, but I think I would have liked to name him after my grandfather, Christian Harvey.

He'd be almost eleven now, I think. It makes me sad, too, to think that he'll have grown up without me there to watch. It's like, I have no say in who he'll someday become. I knew that that would be the case when I agreed to give him up, but that's never stopped it from hurting.


	2. Mimi

You want to know my secret? Well, okay, as long as the others won't find out.

I knew April.

She was a friend of mine for years, Before I even met Angel. She was like an older sister to me. I met her when I first came to New York. She and I were really close, best friends forever and all that shit.

She was actually the one who started me on drugs. And she's the one who gave me HIV. It just goes to show that even best friends can let you down. Well, that's what I get for sharing needles, right?

In case you haven't figured it out yet, I have seen Mark and Roger before. I used to go clubbing with them, and stuff. And they were at April's funeral, just like me. Although I think they were too wrapped up in their own grief to really notice me. And when we'd go clubbing? Well, Roger and April were usually high as kites, and Mark just never really talked at all. Always wrapped up in his filming. Also I had my hair all straightened back then, and I think I was dyeing it blonde, so I did look totally different.

Honestly, though, that first night I saw Roger on the balcony I thought he realized who I was. That's why I went up there in the first place, thought it might be nice to see him again. I didn't even realize that he didn't recognize me until he said I reminded him of April. I almost had a heart attack. After that, I figured it was time to change the subject.

So I tried flirting with him a little, since he obviously didn't recognize me after all. Figured it would be nice to have a one night stand with someone else who had HIV. Yes, I knew he had HIV. He got it from April, just like me. But soon I realized that he wasn't gonna have any of that, so I left. Or at least, I would have if I hadn't dropped my stash.

You know, strangly enough, it never even occured to me that he wouldn't do me because he was infected. I guess all the guys I've ever been with before wouldn't have given a fuck if they gave me anything, so I thought he'd be no different. But he actually cared, you know.

I like to think that April had a hand in all that went on that night. First with making me realize that Roger was just a floor above me. (Talk about a small world, you know.) Then, when I was about to give up and leave, I realize my stash is missing and go back in. And after that, all this stuff kept bringing him and me back together, against all the odds. After all, we've done so much good for eachother. He's helped me get off smack, and given me a constant in my life, something I've never had before. And according to the rest of the group, I basically brought him back to life after April died.

There's my secret, out in the open. I guess the reason I've never told the others is that I'm afraid it will ruin our relationship. Like, every time Roger looks at me, he'll see April or something. I dunno, I guess I just like the idea of being able to start over new. So for now, that bit of information is going to remain my little secret. 


	3. Mark

You want to know a secret about me? Really? Well, alright, I guess so.

Let's see. Oh, I've got one.

I used to be a junkie.

Yeah, I know, shocking right? Me, Mark Cohen. But this way before I ever met any of my friends. I was actually really young, I think about sixeteen, seventeen maybe. I did all sorts of shit back then, but my drug of choice was heroin, just like Roger and Mimi.

It actually started in highschool, and spiraled downward from there. When my parents finally figured out what was happening, they kicked me out. That's when I moved to new York City. For a little while, I found it was even easier to get the drugs here, you know? But then one night, I OD'd and ended up in the hospital. After that, they put me into a rehab.

When I got out, I started using again. Then I wound up back in the hospital, and then again in the clinic. They kept me in longer, and for some reason this time it stuck. Once I got out, I didn't go back to drugs. Instead, that's when I started to film a lot. I'd always played around with cameras before, but it was only then that I really began to get into it. It provided a good distraction, and didn't allow me a lot of spare time in which to dwell on the dealers lurking everywhere in this city.

Then I met Collins and Roger. Roger was just starting to toy with the idea of getting clean then, and when I came around I lost no time in encouraging him. Then came April's suicide, and that seemed to be the breaking point. He knew that he had to get quit the smack, and I was right there to help him.

I pointed him in the direction of the clinic I'd gone too, just like I would for Mimi later on. Strangely enough, no one ever questioned how I knew about the place. Anyway, Roger went through rehab, but he dropped out too early, saying he hated it there. But he still wanted to quit, and who was I to take that away from him. So I stayed with him while he went through the last bit of withdrawal.

It wasn't as hard as everyone seems to think it was. Usually, he just stayed really quiet, all holed up in his room, or was crying and in pain. Very rarely, he'd get angry and start to scream and shout, and only once did he punch the wall. The hole's still there, too.

It always killed me, though, when he did get to screaming. He'd say shit he didn't mean, but it always hurt when he told me I didn't know what he was going through. He'd tell me I didn't know what it was like, I didn't know how much pain he was in and that I had no right to do this to him. Those were the times that I wanted to just yell back that I did know what he was going through, because I'd been through the same fucking hell. But of course, I kept my mouth shut, and so my secret is still safe.

I guess that's why I'm so straight edge now. All my friends think I'm just stiff, but they don't know the truth. It just scares the hell out of me, the idea that I might someday fall back into that again, even with alcohal.

Anyway, so that's my secret. Something none of my friends know. I, Mark Cohen, was a full fledged druggie for a good two or three years. The marks have long since healed, and are now invisible, but I, at least, still know they're there. 


	4. Maureen

Of course I have a secret. You really want to know what it is?

Joanne isn't my first girlfriend.

I mean, come on now. Do you really think that I suddenly discovered my 'true sexuality' after all this time. Of course not. I've known I was bi since college.

Why has no one found out? Well, they never asked. If they had, I'd be happy to tell them all about Molly. And Danielle. Oh, and Ariel. I think there were more, but I can't remember all their names. Hey, I have an active social life, okay?

Anyway, yeah, I've been with other girls. Poor Mark, I always think I should at least tell him that it was nothing he did. But then I remember how much fun we have teasing him about it, so I change my mind.

Actually, looking back, I think some of the best lovers I've ever had were girls. Hmmm, maybe I'm really a fullout lezzie? I'll have to look into that. But I do love Joanne, more than I've ever loved anyone else, just in case you were wondering. Even if she is a stiff. I like to think that I'm able to loosen her up a bit. Especially in bed!

So that's my secret. I'm not some newly discovered bisexual. I have been with other girls before, loads of them. But I think I'll keep this information to myself. Just because I like to watch Mark squirm. 


	5. Roger

Secrets, huh? Well, sure I have some secrets. Who doesn't?

I guess my biggest one, though, has got to be Gary.

God, I've been sharing a bed with him for... geez, I don't even know how long. But me and him go way back. Of course, none of my friends know about him, not even Mark. And it's been damned hard keeping him a secret all these years, I might add.

I don't know what I'd do without him, though. Ever since I first laid eyes on him, I knew he was something special, that he'd really come to mean something to me, you know.

And he has. Ever since my dad first brought him home. Gary was the only thing he'd ever gotten for me before, and ever since then. I guess that's probably why I haven't been able to part with it for all this time. Poor Gary is so ripped and worn, you wouldn't even recognize his original shape. That is, a bear.

Yes, that's right. Roger Davis, Mr. Rock n' Roll himself, has a stuffed animal. He's small and black (Or at least he was. He's kinda greyish now, though.) and I think I've had him since I was eight. I sleep with him under my pillow every night, although if I'm really upset about something I'll sometimes take him out.

I can't remember why I named him Gary. I think he was named after some character on a show I liked, but I can't be sure. All I know is that he's helped me through some tough times, and I could never let anything happen to him. But if my friends ever found out I think I'd die of shame. 


	6. Angel

Oh, I have a secret. You'll probably laugh, though.

I think Roger's hot.

Not that I'd leave Collins for him or anything. Oh no, not by a long shot. But damn, that boy is fine. Seriously.

I love to flirt with him. Just a little, nothing to make him uncomfortable, just enough to have fun. I'm sure he's straight, and I have pretty good gay-dar. Now Mark, though. I've always wondered...

Anyway, I've never even told Collins before. I can only imagine what he'd say. And the others! Needless to say, that might make things a little akward between us, even though I don't really mean anything by it. First of all, he's a very good friend. Secondly, He's my boyfriend's roomate. And third, my best friend is dating him.

So yeah, there it is. I think Roger Davis is hot. Not in a 'secretly run away with him and live happily ever after' kind of way, but in a 'God, I love to look at him, I wonder what he'd look like with no pants' sort of way. But Collins will always be my one and only. 


	7. Read! Important!

Hey everyone! So I'm sorry about the long wait, but I had a serious case of writers block on what to do with this story! BUT! Last night, as I was lying in bed, inspiration struck!

However, to see that inspiration, you must go back to joanne's chapter and read it again, since I had to change it around in a fairly large way. I had to, to make the rest of the story work! But do not fear! I will have up Collins' and Benny's secrets in a little while! It's only a matter of writing them up now! After that, I _might_ decide to take this story further, but probably not.


	8. Collins

Here it is, finally! Oh, and if you didn't already re-read Joanne's, do it! NOW! Before we go any further!

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Secret? Well, okay, you asked for it.

I've only ever slept with one girl in my entire life. Back in highschool. I was at this party, and she was pretty wasted. But do you want to hear the real zinger?

It was Joanne. I honestly don't think she even remembers, since she was pretty wasted at the time. I met her at a party that my buddy was throwing while his parents were out of town. It certainly wasn't the best sex I'd ever has, since I'm not even into girls. Actually, it was rather distasteful. But my buddy had pointed her out and dared me to get in her pants by the end of the night, so I did.

Afterwards, we never saw eachother again. I was going to an all-boys private shcool at the time, so no surprise there. I honestly thought that was the end of it, and I'd never have to think about it again. After that, I really started getting more into guys, and I kind of just forgot about it.

But then, that night at the Life when I first saw Joanne round that corner with Maureen, I almost had a heart attack. I thought that there had to be some mistake. I mean, come on, what are the chances of finding out that the girl you lost your virginity to is now, so many years later, dating one of your best friends? And a woman? I wonder if I should be offended? Then again, I'm queer now too, so that would be a tad hypocritical of me.

Honestly, I hadn't even known her name when I slept with her. I feel kind of bad now. I always think, _maybe I should bring it up some time,_ but no. I mean, come on. Can you think of anything more akward than that?

_Uh, hey Joanne, you may have been too drunk to recall, but I once banged you on a dare at a party. So how's that new case you're working on?_

I figure it's better if no one knows, since it was so long ago. Like I said, she probably has no recollection that any of it ever happened anyway, so why push it, right?


End file.
